Ho, Ho, Ho....

Sorry for the long time between blogs, but to say things have been crazy would be a vast understatement….

When last I blogged, we were to take full custody of the kiddies the day before Thanksgiving….that stretched out for a few weeks due to day care issues, and we finally were able to take custody on December 5th, which happened to be the birthday of the oldest child.

Also, I’ve included our latest entry in the “Biscuit and the Poopy Diaper” story as we appear to have a different one every couple of weeks….

We didn’t get much notice regarding taking full custody, but I was able to arrange for Paid Family Leave starting on December 8, so have spent the last few weeks getting the kids used to their schedules and day care situations. Although I was off work, the 3 weeks of leave were spent getting the kids up and leaving the house as I would for work each day…taking them to day care, and then picking them up afterwards… Our goal was to get them on the schedules they would be on when I went back to work.

All this has worked out well with a few exceptions….However, we do need to move back a few weeks to get the entire picture….

Prior to the 5th, Mark had taken the children for a visit with their maternal grandmother. At the end of that visit, grandma turned over a couple of garbage bags full of things of the childrens. These were things that were apparently in the apartment when Social Services took custody of the kids. We through these bags in the trunk of the car to deal with at a later date.

When I went to pick up the kids for the last time at their former foster home, I was also met with about 10 garbage bags of stuff. Our goal was to get the kids home, get them settled in for the night, and work on the weekend at going through their stuff, and seeing what was what….

That being said, after the kids were down in bed, Mark and I began bringing in the bags. When we got to the garbage bags that grandma gave us, the dogs started going crazy…. I had opened the bag, and saw a doll and other kid stuff in it, but couldn’t figure out why the dogs were wigging out.

Since the kids were in bed, and we wanted to see what was causing the dogs to go crazy, we decided to let them ‘forage’ and see what it was….imagine our surprise when Biscuit dives into the bag, and pops her head up a few seconds later with an old diaper….and not just any old diaper…this was an old crusty, petrified poopy diaper that she immediately took under the table and began shredding. We about barfed…

We ‘think’ that the bags of stuff that grandma gave us were picked up in the old apartment that the kids were in when they were taken. In their haste to gather everything, they inadvertently gathered everything…. At this point, I told Mark to just take the bags that grandma gave us and throw them in the trash…I wasn’t even going to go through them. At this point, the kids had been without whatever was in there for almost a year, so what was the point? They would obviously never miss what was in there… I didn’t want that stuff in my house anyway….

So…later in the weekend we started unpacking the bags the foster family gave us to see what types of clothes they had, etc. Sadly, they had no winter jackets and/or pants. Unfortunately, that was the week we had a cold snap here, and it was between 35 and 40 degrees. Angel had no pants that went past her knee, and most of Bobby and Jenna’s were summer wear as well. None of them had a jacket for winter….just wind breakers and fleece hoodies.

I ended up calling the social worker to see if their clothing allowance for the year had been spent. It had for all the kids but Angel, so she sent me a check for $240. I went off to Target, and was able to get 99% of what the kids needed for just over $300. At least they had pants and coats now that would see them through a few months….

Shortly after taking custody, the SW informed us that Dad had been approved for overnight visits. So the weekend of 12/13 was the first one…

Before we get into that, I wanted to mention that when we took custody, the 4 yr old was not potty trained. Honestly, we think that no one ever bothered to take the time. In any event, we started working on that the first week, and had great success!!! Not one accident!!! Big win all the way around….

So we meet up with Dad at Micky D’s and drop the kids off for the overnight. We go to get them on Sunday, and we get the kids home, and the 4 yr old is wearing a diaper… I ask what’s going on, and the oldest tells me that she had an accident at dad’s, so he put her in a diaper (I’d packed extra clothes and panties just in case).

So, Monday am we start with the potty training again, and have good success (even at night). The kids have a weekend visit with dad again, and again we get them back and the 4 yr old is in a diaper….

In addition, when I pick them up the Sunday before xmas, I asked dad if he’s heard when the next visit will be. He said he was told it would be xmas eve, and we will get them back on xmas day. We’d not heard anything, so I called the SW Monday am to confirm. Unfortunately, she was on vacation….and had not left us any direction. After discussing it, Mark and I decided to go ahead and let the kids go, as it was reasonable that the dad would have a holiday visit. We just worked around it.

I talked to the dad about the diaper thing, and I thought we had an understanding…

Bobby hadn’t been feeling well for about a week, and unfortunately, it hit him full force with his dad. Apparently, he’d thrown up on him xmas eve, and was exhausted when we got him back…to the point that he spent the rest of xmas day in bed.

The 4yr old was returned once again in a diaper, so I was frustrated as well. Plus, after the last visit, it became apparent that the kids are being coached to call us by our first names. We figured this out, when the 2 yr old (who’d always been calling me Daddy at this point), suddenly started calling me Writa…. Those of you who know me well, know that no one in my family calls me by my given name….all call me by my nickname. Mark doesn’t even use my name…so it was painfully obvious what had occurred.

That being said, I vowed to discuss all of this with the social worker on Monday. But first I needed to get through my first hospital visit with a sick child on Friday…. Bobby had come back from his dad’s not feeling well, and for what it’s worth, he’d been sick on our watch the week before. When he’d gotten up the day after Christmas, I’d gotten him to take some apple juice while I made him something to eat (he’d not eaten at all for us on Christmas day).

All was well until the projectile vomiting started all over the table and my new jammies (which were very absorbent, thank you very much!). We got him cleaned up, and I contacted the advise nurse who said to bring him to the hospital. So off we went for a 6 hour stay.

Mark was at work, and thankfully, my family was visiting for the holidays and were immediately roped into babysitting duties. Little did they know that they would be stuck all day.

Bobby checked out with just a bad case of the flu, but interesting enough, when we were at the hospital, he fell asleep, and when he ‘woke up’ it was like he was a different child. He started beating on my chest saying “I don’t want you, I don’t want you…!” and then he would call my name, and when I would say I’m right here, he would grip me really tight and a couple of minutes later, he would start doing it again. It got to the point where the nurse came in because he was having an out of body experience. She mentioned that she thought that even though his eyes were open, she didn’t think he was awake…. After about 30 minutes, he seemed to ‘snap’ out of it, and was back to normal. We were able to then get some fluids in him, and he was okay. We were able to leave shortly there after….

In the meantime….Grandma had called, and wanted a visit on Saturday. Again, we’d not been told anything by the SW, so we let them go. Kids had an okay time, but said they were bored. On the other hand, it was nice for Mark and I to chill for an afternoon…

On Monday, I returned back to work, and called the SW with an update. I told her about the diaper issue with the 4 yr old, and also about the visits with no direction and the coaching the kids not to call us mommy and daddy…. She wasn’t happy. She apologized for not leaving us any direction, and we’ve now hammered out a schedule where dad has the kids every other weekend from Friday night to Sunday night and Grandma has been told that she gets 1 4 hr visit on a Saturday per month. No more than that. In addition, the SW talked to the dad about the diaper thing, and supposedly, he’s going to not put a diaper on her if she has an accident. I’ll believe it when I see it…

Lastly, the SW told us that the mother has now dropped out of the sky. She appeared at a court hearing in December, and requested visitation. She said she was clean. Apparently, they drug tested her on the spot and she was clean, so she was granted a supervised visit. We don’t know when that will be at this point.

In general, the kids had an overwhelming Christmas. Friends and Family were more than generous and to be honest with you, I’m not sure they comprehend how fortunate they were. They also haven’t really been taught any manners as it relates to gift giving and receiving, so we had some embarrassing moments. Mark and I realized they don’t know what they haven’t been taught, so now will have a conversation about proper conduct as it relates to that. We will also be tackling thank you notes this weekend…. I do find it hilarious though that the biggest toy hits with the kids at Christmas have been two of the all time classics that Santa had found in miniature form. Target had mini-Slinkys for a buck, as well as Play-Dough in a small Santa container, and a small Christmas Tree container in the same goodie bin. The kids had never been exposed to either, and have had hours of fun with both of these. Just goes to show you the classics are sometimes the BEST!

Have a great New Years, and we will blog again soon!