2 Adults + 2 Dogs + 3 Kids=Chaos

Dear Family, Friends, and Cyber Buddies-

Wanted to post for you all an update on how things with the kids are going. The weekend of Oct 24-26, was the first overnight visit that we had, and consisted of the 4 biggies: Bites. Burns, Cuts, & Blood…I was glad there wasn’t a team of locust on the horizon…

The weekend was an eye opener and made us realize how unprepared we were for parenthood. Most people have some time to adjust to building a family with 3 kids. We basically had a week…. By the time we dropped the kids off on Sunday, I was seriously doubting that Mark and I would be able to handle everything. I was at the end of my rope, and could not imagine getting through this. I’m sort of dumping all of this out there as it actually helps me deal with all the emotions that you go through, as well as educating others that might be thinking about doing what we are doing…

First off, a little background: Our first overnighter was supposed to actually be Halloween, however we’d gotten a call earlier in the week to see if we thought we’d be ready for an overnighter Oct 24 weekend. We still had A LOT of kid proofing that we needed to have done around the house so initially proposed a 2pm pick up on Saturday. Not sure how it happened, but before we knew it, we’d agreed to a 5pm FRIDAY pick-up with a return on Sunday at 3pm.

Because of the earlier pick-up, we were not able to completely kid-proof the house, which will become important later on…

I drove out to Antioch to pick up the kids. The current foster mom had a bag packed with their clothes and such. Picked up that and the kids, and got them packed in the car. About 5 miles away, I realized that I didn’t think I put the bag with their clothes and such in the car. I pulled over, and sure enough, it wasn’t in there… I had left it on the sidewalk because I was so worried about getting the middle child strapped in…As I told the kids, I was losing my marbles.

We turned around, and headed back to the house to fetch the bag. I pulled down the street, and the bag was gone. I said a quick prayer, and hoped that the current family had seen it, and brought it in, and that it wasn’t stolen. I went up to the door, and sure enough, the foster dad was there with the bag, laughing at me. I threw it in the trunk and were on our way..

We tried to keep our plans this weekend a bit simple: We were going to go to get pumpkins on Saturday, and then attend a school carnival. On Sunday we were going to a Fall Festival at our neighbor’s church.

We arrive home on Friday and I hustled the kids into the house. Mark wasn’t home yet, so I got the kids settled. During the day while we are at work, the dogs are locked in the backyard, with access to the office for shelter. When we come home from work, I typically let them in, they run around, and then settle down.

We’d done a slow introduction to the dogs the Saturday before, so I thought all would be good. I was going to let them in, and all ‘should’ have been okay. Unfortunately, it wasn’t..

The dogs ran in, and Jenna and Angel immediately started screaming…this freaked the dogs out, freaked the kids out more, and Beau sort of lunged at Angel. I immediately threw both dogs outside, and calmed the kids down. Not good, as we have big issues if the dogs and kids don’t get along. Surprisingly enough, none of this fazed Bobby in the slightest. He watched the whole thing, and didn’t make one noise. Simply sat at the table and colored oblivious to what was going on around him (thank God).

Angel insisted Beau had bit her, but I couldn’t find ANYTHING on her…no mark, bruise, teeth marks…nothing.

Mark came home shortly after with muzzles, and we put them on the dogs, and let them back in. Gradually, we were able to take Biscuit’s muzzle off for extended periods, so the kids began getting used to her. I asked Angel what she was afraid of, and she said the big black spot on her head was scary….

To distract the kids from their earlier trauma, when Mark came home, I had Angel help me with dinner. We were cooking chicken fettuccini alfredo, so she was helping me sauté some of the chicken breasts. Unfortunately, she turned around, and her thumb hit the side of the pan, and she got a small burn. Now, I’m batting a thousand. What other trauma can I inflict???…We wrapped a cube of ice in a towel, and had her hold it on there. It was red, but not bad at all. She’d forgotten about it by the time we sat down to eat.

We are trying to set a schedule with the kids, and try and stick as closely to their current schedule as possible to avoid major disruptions that their current foster family would have to deal with when we bring them back. That being said, they need to be in bed by 8, so we need to be done with meals to take baths at 7, so need to eat at the latest by 5:30 or 6.

After dinner, Mark had to run an errand, so our friend helped me start baths. We made the big mistake the week before of introducing Mr. Bubble, so baths last longer than intended. I think we will keep the Mr. B for weekends only as I can see that it would be a beast during the week…

We got them bathed, diapered and ready for bed. By this time, Mark and I are ready to collapse as well. That was not to be, as Mark and I had one more task to take care of…

As mentioned previously, this whole thing has happened pretty quickly for us, and we aren’t quite prepared with everything. The week before, we’d gone to Target and stocked up on diapers, wipes, etc. However, we don’t have changing table, and didn’t really have a diaper/wipey/changey designation area. It happens where it happens…. So when getting Bobby ready, I changed his diaper, set the dirty one on the counter in the bathroom to throw away, but got hopelessly side tracked. Biscuit on the other hand, was entirely focused on the dirty diaper she’d managed to get to, and was happily trotting down the highway with her new ‘treat’. She dove under the table as per her normal MO when she’s gotten a hold of something she shouldn’t have. Mark and I tried to corner her, and chased her back and forth. Part of me wanted to say screw it, and go to bed, but wiser heads prevailed. We finally caught her and wrestled the remnants away.. Note to self: Make sure diapers get to the garbage! Finally we were off to bed exhausted, wondering how the rest of the weekend would progress.

We didn’t have to wait long, as at approximately 5am, the troops were up. I swear I felt like I was in boot camp…

Bobby managed to have an atomic pee and poop that blew through every layer of everything. I got him cleaned up, and then he toddled out with his sisters.

Toys, crayons, books, etc were immediately pulled out and spread over the family room floor. I was trying to keep them on one side of the house so that Mark and the dogs could sleep a little bit later.

They were hungry, so we started to discuss breakfast options. Big mistake…there should be no options…this is what you’re eating! Normally on the weekends, Mark and I do make breakfast together, and sit at the table and read the paper and chat. In any event, I did my best to tackle pancakes, eggs, bacon, etc. I’m working the grill, toaster, etc…but I didn’t feel like I was making any progress. Every time I turned around, it was more juice please, can I have another pancake, blah, blah, blah. One of my favorite movies, is A Christmas Story. In that movie, there’s a scene where the mom is cooking breakfast, and every time she turns around to sit down and eat, someone asks for something else. The narrator says that she hadn’t had a hot meal in years…. I was totally living in that moment, and unable to even run to the bathroom.

A bit later, Mark came out and took over, and was going to make some eggs for himself. Unfortunately, when he opened the refrigerator, the carton of eggs came crashing to the floor. His dream of the ultimate omelet would be just a dream. It was interesting, because Angel asked if Mark was going to get in trouble for breaking the eggs. We said no, why would you say that. She then told us a story of how Jenna had broken some eggs at her mom’s house, and Angel got punished for it. We tried to explain to her that accidents happen, and he didn’t do it on purpose, and there was no reason to punish anyone. She helped me get the mess cleaned up, and then I went back to bed for about an hr to decompress while Mark took over the reins.

As Mark was at the table with Angel eating, she asked if she and her siblings could come and live with us. Mark asked her why she wanted to live here. She told him that nobody is mean to little kids around here….

We finally finished cleaning up and got everything together, and headed to the pumpkin patch to pick out pumpkins. They had a little petting zoo, and the kids enjoyed that. We picked out a few pumpkins and put them in our wagon. We then packed up the kids and headed home…

The kids were out in the backyard helping Mark water the plants. When they came back in the house, Jenna slipped on the water, and skinned her knee…just another trauma of the day. It was fine, and didn’t require a band-aid or anything…

After lunch, we had planned on going to the Elementary School Carnival that was going on around the corner from our house. We had lunch, and then put Bobby down for a nap which he was trying to fight off with all his might. I finally went and lay down with him and sang Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star in his ear. He finally fell asleep.

The girls were getting antsy and wanted to go to the carnival, so I left Bobby with Mark, and we headed to the school. On our way, we met one of the kids next door who’d won a goldfish…I prayed that booth would be closed by the time we got there…

We got to the carnival, and forked over some dough for tickets. I artfully dodged the gold fish booth, and we made our way to the cake walk. Angel did the cake walk about 4 times, and didn’t win anything. The world was going to stop rotating because she hadn’t won a cake… She was totally bummed, and we had a little talk about how you can’t always win, but it was fun to try.

I finally got her settled, when a fireman came up to her (they had a fire truck at the carnival) and asked her what was wrong. Of course the waterworks started again….I gave the fireman a bad time for pickin’ at the scab, I thought I had healed. He waved and said anytime! It was actually quite funny…

I tried to deflect Angel’s attention from the cake walk, by spotting the SpongeBob booth. There were teachers sticking their heads through the SpongeBob cut out, and kids could throw wet sponges at them. Angel and Jenna took turns and had a blast. They won some little prizes. We then moved on to the blow up slide…

About this time, Mark and Bobby still hadn’t appeared. We’d put Bobby down at about 10:30. It was going on 3:30… I called Mark, and he said the Bobby had just woken up, and they were on their way to the carnival. Of course in the back of my mind, some ominous music has begun to play….the boy slept for 5 hours…

When walking back from the carnival, we passed by our neighbor’s house on the corner and stopped by. They had asked us to come by so they could meet the kids. They are wonderful people and stood outside and chatted while the kids played in their fountain. Our neighbor said that she hadn’t decorated their house for Christmas for about 3 years…it just wasn’t worth the hassle. She said that this year, she can’t wait to get her Santa Village set up, and have the kids come over to see it. It was very touching that they inspired her in that way.

Now, I’d had these delusions of grandeur that I was going to make all of these homemade meals for the kids. And frankly, after rising with the troops at 5am, the thought of actually cooking a meal was wholly unappealing. That being said, Angel and I took off to Safeway where they were having hot meatloaf on sale for $5. Threw that in the cart, along with some mashed potatoes, and called it a day.

Everyone chowed down, and then it was time to make cookies for dessert. Angel said she’d never made them before, so I had her help me figure out the measurements, and read the recipe. Some of the cookies got a little well done as I was herding the kids on the other side of the house, but they weren’t bad. Each kid had a warm cookie and glass of milk and then off to bed. To say Mark and I were exhausted is a GROSS UNDERSTATEMENT.

I had mentioned before that everything had happened so quickly, so we have not put up all the security locks and such. Because of that, we have to be on high alert at all times. That plus the dog situation had my stress level over the edge. Now, throw into the mix a 2 year old boy who had a 5 hr nap, and I realize I am screwed.

Bobby normally sleeps in a crib, and we don’t have one, so were just using the bed in one of the guest rooms. Unfortunately, that means the little guy can get up and roam the halls at all hours. Luckily, our room is right next to his, so I could hear when he’d get up. That also means that I wasn’t sleeping.

I’d get up, put him back to bed, and lay down with him until he feel asleep. Seems like the minute I’d go back to my own bed, I’d hear the door open… Anyway, the final time was about 2:30 am. I put him back to bed, and waited for him to fall asleep. Unfortunately, I was the one doing the sleeping, and woke up a few minutes later, to an empty bed, and the bedroom door open. I went out on patrol, and found him in one of the bathrooms going through the cabinets under the sink. This about put me over the edge…we need to get this place baby boobie-trapped as soon as possible. I can’t function on DEFCON1 for extended periods.

We finally got him back to bed the final time about 4. The troops rose again at 5, and we started the cycle all over..

On Sunday, our neighbors had invited us to the Fall Festival at their church. It sounded very family friendly, so we happily accepted. The plan was to leave directly from that and take the kids back to Antioch. They were supposed to be back there at 3pm.

As we are driving to the church, I happened to look in the rear view mirror, and Angel had a little bit of blood dripping out of her nose. I had my inadequate (and I mean INADEQUATE) make shift diaper bag with just a handful of wipes, so passed those back to her. Soon it was a gusher, and there was blood everywhere. Mark and I were at our wits end. We got to the church, and dug through the trunk of the car, and found a pack of napkins that we used to stop the bleeding.

I had Mark take the two youngest, so that I could help the oldest get cleaned up. Finally after about 10 minutes, the bleeding stopped, and we were able to get going and enjoy the fun.

The Fall Fest was awesome and the kids had a blast! They got to actually be kids, and played in the bounce house, and on the slide. Soon it was time to take the kids back. There were lots of tears, and frankly we were all exhausted.

I honestly wondered if we could deal with this on a day in, day out basis. As I drove back to Antioch, I could watch all 3 kids in my rear view mirror sound asleep. Soon, my dear hubby squeezed my hand and drifted off to sleep as well.

The reality of what we are doing continues to sink in. We worry about finances, day care, dogs, etc. Will this all work? Are we doing the right thing? Are we too old to be tackling these responsibilities? I look at there little faces full of innocence and realize that these poor kids just happened to be born to parents that made poor decisions.

We pulled up to their current foster home, and woke them up and took them to the door. There were lots of tears as the kids wanted to stay with us. We explained that wasn’t possible yet but we were working on it.

I walked down the path back to the car, and I heard the current foster parent say something to the little girl. The little one ran after me with big tears in her eyes and said that she didn’t want to stay…she wanted to come with us. I tried to dry her tears and told her that there were many other good times to have, and that we would see her within the week. She gave me a big hug and kiss, and resigned herself to go back in the house she’d run out of.

Mark and I climbed back into the car, and like a cow with the barn insight, we headed home and collapsed.

Our next visit with the kids would be on Halloween....